Monday, May 30, 2016

Republican Heroes


I believe it important that on this coming Memorial Day, we honor those Conservatives super-Patriots, who, when given a choice to serve, had, in the words of Dick Cheney, "other priorities."

Donald Rumsfield had a peacetime, non-combat stateside Navy gig in the mid 50's.

George W. Bush: failed to complete his six-year National Guard; got assigned to Alabama so he could campaign for family friend running for U.S. Senate; failed to show up for required medical exam, disappeared from duty.
He was eventually assigned to a "phantom" unit whose members didn't have to show up but they were at greater risk of being sent to Vietnam.

Dick Cheney: did not serve. Six deferments, the last by marriage, said he had “other priorities.”

Rush Limbaugh: did not serve (4-F with a 'pilonidal cyst, i.e, a ball on his ass

Bill O'Reilly: did not serve.

Dennis Hastert: did not serve.

Tom Delay: did not serve.

Mitch McConnell: did not serve.

Rick Santorum: did not serve.

Jeb Bush: did not serve.

Karl Rove, aka Turd Blossom, did not serve (I mean, really – did anyone think he would?)

Saxby Chambliss: did not serve. "Bad knee.” Did not stop him from attacking Max Cleland’s patriotism, although Cleland lost a leg in the service.

SPECIAL NEOCON AWARD FOR ULTRA HYPOCRISY:

Paul Wolfowitz: did not serve.

Vin Weber: did not serve.

Richard Perle: did not serve.

Douglas Feith: did not serve.

Eliot Abrams: did not serve.

Richard Shelby: did not serve.

OTHER CONSERVATIVE SUPERPATRIOTS:

John Kyl: did not serve.

Tim Hutchison: did not serve.

Christopher Cox: did not serve.

Newt Gingrich: did not serve

Phil Gramm: did not serve.

Dana Rohrabacher: did not serve.

Dan Quayle: Journalism unit of the Indiana National Guard.

Rudy Giuliani: did not serve.

George Pataki: did not serve.

Spencer Abraham: did not serve.

George Will: did not serve.

Paul Gigot: did not serve.

Bill Bennett: did not serve.

Pat Buchanan: did not serve.

Bill Kristol: did not serve.

Kenneth Starr: did not serve.

Antonin Scalia: did not serve.

Clarence Thomas: did not serve.

Ralph Reed: did not serve.

ENTERTAIMENT WING:

Michael Medved: did not serve.

John Wayne: did not serve but could play 4 years of College football

Charlie Daniels: did not serve, AND, of course,

Donald Trump, Medal of Valour serving in Vietnam

Ted Nugent: did not serve, chose to sh!t his pants for a week to feign mental illness, he won and

to this very day he is still nuts!

All 17 occupants of the 2016 Clown Car this past year did not serve.

Republicans don't often serve in the military. But when they do, they serve beer! Happy Memorial Day y'all!

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Trump conspiracy theories:

1. Clintons murdered Vince Foster
2. Cruz's dad killed JFK
3. Obama born in Kenya
4. Scalia murdered w/pillow
5. Climate change is a hoax
6. Muslims celebrated 9/11 in New Jersey
7. Vaccines cause autism
8. There is no drought in California.